Things I Learned at PLI

PLI stands for Pastoral Leadership Institute. It's a leadership organization within our Lutheran church body that trains pastors and their wives in leadership . . . more specifically missional leadership. And that's where we were last week . . . in San Antonio for our first conference. PLI is a four year committment. We'll spend four years at conferences, visiting other churches, at retreats, and on a overseas mission trip. All these things happen within a small group called a collegial group. Ours is pictured below:)

Jehoshaphat (JPhat) Class of 2009

Now onto what I learned at PLI

1. My heart and my brain needed a fill up. First, the heart side of things. Being in Texas makes me happy. We spent one of the best years of our married life in Texas on our internship, and being there is like being wrapped in a big bear hug. I am well aware that that sounds a little crazy, but I love Texas. I love the weather, I love that complete strangers act like they have known you forever, I love the music, I love the food. I just love it, and it reminds me of the time we spent there. I also love that we got to see some dear friends, and it does my heart lots of good to connect with them again. Below is a picture of us with Scott and Kate--some good friends from college.

2. The way I look at ministry has completely changed. Before the conference, we had to read the book, The Present Future by Reggie McNeal. This book blew my mind, but it also confirmed some of my frustrations in ministry and made me think about how we approach ministry. The ideas in this book were the basis for the conference as well. Basically (and in my opinion), the way many churches "do church" is too inclusive. Our culture is changing, and church is no longer a club that we belong too because people don't want to belong to that club anymore. People love Jesus, but they don't like the church. We can't live in the church bubble anymore and expect to attract people with our awesome programs and incredible music. We have to go to them. That means that we have to step out of our comfort zone and have real relationships with people outside of church and not live comfortably in our club. It also requires an element of service to those in need in our community, and this is a big area where I feel I have failed.

I've always had this nagging in my head about this church club idea. Many of the activities I've been involved in have been "club" activities. Women's Bible study, retreats, Halloween activities. And while it's important to do those things and be surrounded by other believers, I am completely missing the serving others part in my life. That's got to change. I am not sure how yet, but I have been convicted of that.

3. In my life right now, my primary ministry is to my husband and my kids. You all might think that this is obvious--what wife wouldn't pay attention to her husband and kids? I do, but sometimes, I put too much on my plate and don't always put them first. Sometimes I put friends or activities first, and my family suffers. But I am called to them--to support Nate in his ministry and to raise our girls to be happy, healthy girls who have hearts that love God.

So there you have it. PLI rocked my world in a good way. I am SO looking forward to the next four years and beyond.

Four Things

I have a million things to do today because we are leaving on a trip tomorrow, but I need a break. I can only fold so much laundry, clean so many toilets, and put away so many toys. A break is in order. So here I am, blogging . . .

We are going to San Antonio tomorrow and I am very excited about it! I am excited to spend a week with my husband without our kids. (I love them to pieces, but am looking foward to our time together and their time with my mom!) We get to see old friends and will meet some new wonderful people too.

I always have blog posts rolling around in my brain. Some of them make it out, some of them don't. And I've been thinking about a few things this week . . . and instead of devoting an entire post to each one, you get them all in one today.

First, I am really bothered by this Twitter thing. I want to want to do it, because everyone else seems to love it. (Kind of like me not being in the coffee club. Everyone loves coffee, but me. Therefore, I am not in the coffee club. ) But I can't. I love blogging and I love Facebook, but do people really need to know what I am doing every second of the day? Do I need to be spending time updating my status? I was at the park with the girls last week, and noticed that out of the four parents who were there with their kids, only one was not engrossed in his/her cell phone or Blackberry. I do not want to be one of those parents who is always on my phone or always on the computer. And God knows that I am on the computer too much as it is, do I need another reason to be on it? And who the heck wants to know what I had for breakfast or how many loads of laundry I fold?

Second, I am taking it upon myself to either hide or totally get rid of some ugly clothes of Nate's. He has these Hawaiian shirts that he loves and I hate, really really hate. We are going to a conference and have to wear nice clothes and he's sure that these shirts are appropriate. I am hiding them so he can't pack them. #1 They may be appropriate here in California, but probably not in Texas. #2 They are ugly and I want him to look nice. So I am hiding them. Maybe even throwing them away, but I would get in big trouble for that one. I can't decide if I'm justified in getting rid of the ugliness or if I am being a bad wife. Any thoughts?

Third, I am going to write a longer post some other time about motherhood., but this is a snippet of what I've been thinking. It's hard, it's rewarding, it's time consuming, and it's life changing. I was a stay at home mom for four years and have been working part-time for about a year now. Being in the "working mom" category has definitely changed my perspective . . . . pretty much for the better. I am less judgemental and more sensitive to the financial, practical, and emotional needs of mothers--and I am finding that those needs vary from family to family. More on that later.

Lastly, I have been following one particular blog that has captured my heart. This is a blog that is known all over the country and lots of people are following. Mckmama (her blog nickname) is the mother of four children, and her youngest, Stellan, is having some serious heart issues. He was flown to Boston this week and will undergo a very risky surgery tomorrow. I don't know this family. I only know their story from the blog, but I have been praying for Stellan and his family for a while now, and I hope that you will check out the blog and pray for Stellan as well. Tomorrow is a big day and they need our prayers. You can check his story out here.

Calling the Animals

Several weeks ago, I noticed some really odd behavior in Abby. She would stand at any window or door, inside or outside, and sing, "Ah ah ah ah ah, ah ah ah ah ah ah . . . " It was the same tune every time. She would lift her little face to the sky as if she was singing to someone or something.

No clue. I had no clue what she was doing.

Then we watched Enchanted (which is on our DVR and has been a favorite movie lately). I finally figured out what she was doing! There is a scene where Giselle, stands at the window of McDreamy's apartment and calls the animals to come in and help her clean. All kinds of animals scurry in and help her clean the apartment--rats, cockroaches, birds, and chipmunks. If you haven't had the pleasure of watching Enchanted, it's a cute movie that combines all the themes and characters of all the Disney princess movies into one. This particular scene of calling the animals comes from Snow White, which is Abby's absolute favorite princess.

Enjoy this clip of Abby calling the animals! Thankfully, no animals showed up to clean our house:)

One more thing . . . Abby got into my lipkiss (Abby language for lipstick) and did such a wonderful job applying it. So beautiful!

Easter 2009

This is probably one of my favorite pictures of the girls:)

Our annual Easter picture in front of the flower cross at Mt. Olive.

Feeling a Little Bit Guilty

because I am not cooking a big dinner for Easter. Actually, I am not cooking a dinner at all! We are going out to the Cheesecake Factory, and I am just a little uneasy about it all.

Growing up, we always had family dinners for holidays, whether it was at Aunt Lil's house or at home with just our family. My mom always cooked a big meal, even if there were a ton of leftovers and my brother and I complained the whole time. Big meals on holidays are a huge comfort to me and although I am not the best cook, when I put time and effort into a big meal, I really enjoy all parts of the process.

But we don't have family here and after a long, exhausting week and another one coming up, I just don't feel like cooking. I don't want to go to Costco and wade through the craziness just for a ham. And I don't want to plan and shop for all the other stuff that goes into a nice Easter dinner. And there's a nice gift card from the Cheesecake Factory sitting on my kitchen counter just staring at me and daring me to go there instead of cook a nice meal for my family.

And so the gift card is winning the battle and I'll only feel a little bit guilty as I am eating my Avocado Eggrolls, Chicken and Biscuits, and Oreo Cheesecake with no preparation to worry about and no mess to clean up.

A Date with Jenna

Nate often takes the girls on "dates." They go to the movies or out to eat. It's their own special time together. Last week, Jenna gave me a nice big reminder that I don't do enough of that with the girls. Jenna said, "Mommy, why don't we ever do anything just us? It would be so fun to spend time together and we don't do special things like that." I felt awful, realizing that she's right. I don't make an effort to spend individual time with the girls as much as Nate does.
So today, Jenna and I went to see the new Hannah Montana movie:) We had lunch together, picked out candy, and watched the movie--which was cute! And I am not going to hide the fact that I probably enjoyed the movie just as much as Jenna did!

When we got home, Jenna gave me this card she made while I was at work this morning and she was getting ready to go to the movies with me. It's pictured on the left. Of course, there's the little girl obligatory crown, heart, and star all in a huge circle. But if you look in the top left hand
corner, you'll see two people sitting together watching a girl on a big screen. It's Jenna and me watching the movie together. Notice the big smile on one of the girls? I don't know if that's her or me:)

Self Portrait

I just can't resist posting some of these cute pictures that Jenna draws. I love her self-portraits, and I especially love the red hair and the heart in the middle of her purple dress. Precious!

These are a few of my favorite things . . .

I don't have to buy anymore diapers or Pull Ups ever again!
For the first time in over five years, our budget no longer includes diapers or Pull Ups-WOOT! This week, Abby insisted on sleeping in big girl underwear at night time, and all I can see is the monthly raise I am getting:) Actually, more like more money to spend on something else in my envelopes. Nate and I have envelopes that we use every month for spending. We have envelopes for groceries, Target, Costco, entertainment, and individual allowances for me and Nate. We pay cash for all these things, and it helps keep us within our monthly budget. And I am so excited that I no longer have to spend my Target envelope money on diapers or Pull Ups! Yessssss . . . .

I love everything about T-Ball

I love the whole TBall experience--from the practices to the games to the dinners at Chili's after each practice. I love sitting in the bleachers and cheering for the girls. I love that Nate calls all the girls "Frank" and they laugh hysterically. I love getting to know the other moms on our team. I just love it.

My new favorite store, OshKosh

I have always shopped at Target and Kohls for the girls' clothes. But once Jenna moved up in the girls department, I have had to find new stores. Many of the clothes at Target are to old looking for Jenna. Not that I won't ever let her wear "skinny jeans," but not when she's five. And I'd like to have other options in t-shirt apparel other than Hannah Montana. So, I have become a freqent visitor at our local OshKosh store, and really love the nice quality of clothes and the fact that they are appropriate yet cute for a five year old girl.

A new adventure, PLI

Nate and I are embarking on a four year adventure called PLI--which stands for Pastoral Leadership Institute. This is a leadership training institute that works with Lutheran pastors and their wives. We will be placed in a small group with other pastors and their wives from all over the country. We will attend leadership training, visit host churches, and participate in a mission trip. I am so excited because Nate and I get to do this together. I have always been involved in leadership and am really looking forward to discovering what ministry means for us together. Our first conference is coming up in a few weeks and I am really looking forward to the following things: the girls getting to spend nine days with Grandma while she babysits, time away with Nate, seeing old college and seminary friends who are also involved in PLI, spending time with Chuck and Tamara after the conference, and seeing our vicarage and original sr. pastor. We have lots to look forward to!

Uncrustables, the answer to an easy lunch

For those of you who don't know, Uncrustables are frozen peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, without the crust. You can put them in your kid's lunch in the morning, and they will thaw in time for lunch time. And they are really good! I don't pack lunches quite yet, but they are so convenient to use as snacks and to have when other kids come over. The best part is that they sell these at Costco:) In large quantities:)

Priceless

One of my daily prayers is that my girls will have hearts that love God. And I love seeing that unfold. Jenna knows that Easter is coming up and is apparently going over everything about Easter in her preschool class.

Over the past few days, she has becomed very concerned though . . . she is very, very sad that Jesus has to die. Now, she knows that Jesus died (as in past tense) on the cross to take away our sins, but she also thinks that it's really going to happen next week. Like next Friday! She is very worried that Jesus will be hurt and that he will be so far away from us.

Every time she gets sad about Jesus dying, I remind her that he lives again and will never die. That certainly brightens her mood, but she also isn't sure if Jesus will want to come back from the dead because heaven is so beautiful and wonderful (as she puts it). She told me today that she thinks heaven will be better than Disneyland:)

I'm really hoping that she realizes that Jesus isn't physically dying during the Good Friday service, but how sweet is it that she is worried and loves Him so much?

I'm seeing a heart that loves God, and that is indeed priceless.

Eat Less, Exercise More

Thanks to my friend, Angie, this is what I am trying to do each day.

I am not in shape. I do not exercise. And I would like to feel better and lose some baby weight since we are done having kids. But I don't like to exercise or give up certain things that I like to eat. But if I remember to eat less (or better in some cases) and exercise more, I think I can feel good in no time.

I have to admit--I am not to the exercising part yet. I will get there soon, but I have made some adjustments to my eating. For example, I replaced Tang with orange juice. I also quit eating unhealthy snacks during my break time at lunch. I have forced myself to buy yogurts and eat only those, no matter what goodies are calling my name from the table in the staff lounge. And let me tell you--there is always something! Yesterday it was cream filled donuts, and today it was a lemon pound cake. Anything having to do with cookies, cake, or chocolate is my weakness. The two biggest problems for me are chocolate chip cookies and Thin Mints.

I am very happy that Thin Mint season is over, especially since I managed to eat 9 boxes pretty much on my own (over time, of course). But today, I was kinda proud of myself . . . we went to Costco and I did not even stop to look at the chocolate chip cookies or the Tang.

You also should know that I love Tang. LOVE IT. Yes, it's that bright orange drink that your mom fed you when you were ten. Well, I still love it and they sell it at Costco. But I left it there today.

So far, today was good. I definitely ate less, but didn't exercise more . . . I'll get there soon!

Reverse Psychology

***Disclaimer: My children are not perfect and I certainly make my share of parenting mistakes. This post is an example of both.

Nate and I tried a bit of reverse psychology on the girls tonight and think it might be working!

The problem: Potty words being used way too much.

Now, I'm thankful that our girls haven't ventured into the world of cuss words quite yet, but I am beginning to worry that my kids are using their potty words in front of other adults, say like their teachers or babysitters. I'm even afraid that they'll break out in the "Underwear Hula" at the children's message in front of the whole church. The "Underwear Hula" is not a potty word, per say, but a lovely dance that they made up when they are, of course, in their underwear. And please don't think that my kids run around naked all day, but they are always changing into some dress up outfit or changing their clothes a million times a day, which leaves a lot of room for the "Underwear Hula."

Back to the potty words . . . words like poo poo and booty butt are becoming, unfortunately, more and more common among the girls. It has gotten to the point where I have told them that for every time they use a potty word, they will have to go to bed ten minutes earlier. That worked for about ten seconds.

Smartie pants Abby came up with a way to get around that. All of the sudden, I heard in a high pitched voice, "booty butt, booty butt . . . . (and then in a hushed, scolding tone) Dee Dee (Abby's little bear), no no! You will have to go to bed ten minutes earlier if you say that again." And then she looks at us and smiles this devious little smile. I, of course, had to look away because I almost busted out laughing:)

This continued for a few days and it obviously wasn't working. Dee Dee was saying these potty words too many times and Abby didn't seem to care that if Dee Dee said those words that Abby would have to take her punishment.

So, I tried reverse psychology on them. I told them that saying booty butt and poo poo was okay and that tushy was a bad, bad word. I'm trying to trick them into not saying the potty words anymore and using a non-offensive word (which they think it offensive) instead. Every time we catch them saying tushy, we act like it's a big no no.

So far it seems to be working . . . we'll see if Dee Dee busts out with any real potty words in the next few days:)

A Perfectly Purple Third Birthday!

Today is Abby's third birthday and yesterday we had a purple party for her. It was fun to have some of her friends to help celebrate! Being three, means that Abby got to go to Sunday School with Jenna today. She was so excited to walk in with her offering in hand! When someone said happy birthday to her today, she would jump up and down, wave her hands, and say "thank you, thank you!" So cute!

Happy birthday to my sweet Abby!

Cake Anxiety

Abby's third birthday is on Sunday and we are celebrating with a party for her on Saturday. I originally was not going to have a party for her with her little friends--I was just going to do something small with the four of us. Then a few weeks ago, Abby kept asking me if her friends could come to her birthday party. How could I say no ?!? So . . . .I planned a small little party and invited the kids that she sees on a regular basis. When asked what kind of party she wanted, Abby said, "I want a purple party!" So a purple party it is:)

I also decided that I was going to go all domestic and MAKE her cake.

Now to many of you, this is not a huge deal. But I have never made a cake. I always buy them. But this time, I am going to make the cake and I am having lots of anxiety over this. What if I can't get the frosting to go on right or what if I can't get the perfect shade of purple for her cake?
Or what if the cake is lopsided? Or what if I royally mess up the little decorations that I am going to attempt to do?

In an attempt to curb my anxiety with this cake business, I bought way more supplies than I need, just in case I mess up. I probably only need one frosting mix, but I bought four. And I probably only need one cake mix, but I bought two.

I'll let you know how it all goes:)

Annual Jenna & Abby Pictures

Jenna-5, Abby-3. The pictures are low resolution because they are from the photographer. Enjoy!

Loving Well

This past weekend was our annual women's retreat for our church, and it was one of the best and hardest weekends I've had in a very long time. Our weekend was based on Beth Moore's Loving Well video series, and it was awesome. Let me first tell you that I LOVE LOVE LOVE Beth Moore---more specifically I love how she loves Jesus and women. But I secretly love her clothes, her big Texas hair, and her accent. I love that she lives in Houston, one of my favorite places ever, and I love that she has the ability to teach God's Word with such clarity and insight. She's hilarious and real, and I am glad to have spent a weekend learning how to "love well."

She talked about four different kinds of people. 1. Joy--People who are a joy to love. 2. Testy--People who are difficult to love. God tends to use these people to test our own maturity, working out what is self-centered about ourselves. 3. Foes--People who are your enemies, people whom you might hate. 4. Far--People we don't know.

Here are a few things that I learned this weekend:

* I am guilty of loving too wide and not deep enough with certain people.

* God measures maturity by how we love.

* We will not love well until we feel well loved.

* Love is God's Godness. It's not an emotion for him, it's who He is.

* Perfect love is not hampered by insecurity or anxiety.

* I love because I am loved by God, not because I want to be loved.

* God doesn't call us to blind love . . . we are to love with insight.

* We will never be more Christ like if we love those who don't love us.

* God is perfect love.

* Nothing can separate me from God's perfect love.

* God pours His perfect love into my imperfect heart.

* Accessed, I can love anyone through anything. (This is a big one for me.)

One of the best parts of the weekend was that I got to spend it with my girlfriends. God has given me a group of friends who are Godly, smart, hilarious, and loving. And I am thankful for them.

During our free time, we spent the afternoon in Santa Cruz on the rocks by the ocean. In the picture are Jessica, Megan, Michelle, Lorraine, Julie, and me.

Asthma or Post Nasal Drip?

. . . are the two answers from two different doctors about the uncontrollable coughing we've been experiencing with Abby. But before I tell you about that, these pictures are of Abby this week. I cannot tell you exactly when these were taken this past week because she ALWAYS wears this Rapunzel dress up. Always. As soon as she gets home from the sitter in the morning, she automatically puts this on. We walk in the front door and in a matter of seconds, she is naked and trying to get this on as fast as she can.

Notice, the red around Abby's mouth? When she gets a cold, she gets red, chapped skin, which can't feel very good for her.

Here's the health craziness that has been going on in our house over the past week. Abby has always had trouble with uncontrollable coughing when she gets a cold, especially at night. This started when she was three months old. I remember taking her to her pediatrician after three nights of sleeplessness. Abby had been up coughing all night. Seriously . . . ALL NIGHT. She was so little and I was so worried about her because she just wouldn't stop. I'm talking like coughing every 20-45 seconds all night. I stayed with her in her room and was so exhausted. I had no idea what was going on with her, but I knew that it wasn't normal for a three month old to cough like that. The odd thing was that she didn't cough during the day, and I was confused. So I went to my pediatrician, looking for answers. She had a little cold, but nothing that would cause this craziness. I remember going into the pediatrician's office wearing my glasses and thinking that everyone must be looking at me because I felt so out of sorts. I had been up for nearly three days! I was desperate for an answer. After evaluating her (remember she didn't cough during the day) he looked right in my eyes and told me that I was a paranoid mother and that I had a perfectly healthy child. He also added that he didn't have time to see well children like mine just to put mommy's minds at ease. :) After giving him a piece of my sleep deprived mommy mind, he mentioned that this could be an indication that Abby would deal with asthma in the future. I "fired" him right away, wrote a letter of complaint, and found a new wonderful doctor for the girls.

Abby always coughs at night with colds, and in the past year, she has had those same coughing fits when she runs or plays. I've had several people tell me that she could have asthma, but I thought that she might just react poorly to colds (since I'm a paranoid, overreacting mother, you know). But a few weeks ago, it was clear to me that she was having trouble breathing. I called the doctor when I couldn't even take her to the park because she coughed so hard after running around for thirty seconds.

Dr. Yen, our new lovely doctor, diagnosed her right away with viral infection/exercise induced intermittent asthma. She put Abby on an inhaler, and life has been much easier in the week that she's been on it. Dr. Yen also referred us to an allergist to see if allergies were possibly triggering her asthma.

Having Abby tested for allergies was, quite possibly, the hardest thing I've had to have her subjected to. She had a six pronged device dug into her back to test for allergies. While the nurse was digging this into her back, she was looking at me, screaming, undoubtedly wondering how I could let that happen. Meanwhile, Jenna was crouched in the corner of the room wiht her hands over her head, sobbing, because she couldn't take the fact that Abby was in so much pain.

In the end, she doesn't have allergies and the allergist refused to tell me that Abby has asthma. Instead, she insisted that Abby just has a hard time with post-nasal drip.

Whatever. I choose not to go with that diagnosis. Dr. Yen knows Abby and the inhalers are helping. So whatever. And boooooooooo to the allergist and while I'm at it, I'll send some boos to her first pediatrician too.

In order to get Abby to take her medicine and inhalers, Nate has turned into Dr. Daddy. See the picture below. :) He has an Elmo stethescope, an Elmo thermometer, a Hannah Montana type microphone headset, and some kind of kitchen utensil that magically turns him into Dr. Daddy. Thank goodness for Dr. Daddy because he can get Abby to take any medicine--she just needs a few giggles first:)

Fun to Fun

. . . that's how all the T-Ball games will end. There are no outs, no score, and all the girls get to hit every inning. It's really a great introduction to team sports and turned out to be a whole lot of fun for us as a family this morning.

So today was Jenna's first T-Ball game. Our team, the Royal Highnesses, played the Wildcats. It was quite amusing to watch girls who have little to know knowledge of how to play T-Ball get out there and play the game. Several girls ran from first to third, completely bypassing second. When a ball was hit, half the team would go for it, resulting in a big pile of blue on top of the ball. But the best was when a girl from the other team fielded a ball for us and threw one of her own teammates out!

It's all in good fun and a riot to watch these little girls play for the first time:)

The Royal Highnesses T-Ball Team

Jenna's first at bat!

A team huddle.

Three Minutes

I have tried to put all the play makeup far out of the reach of my little Abby, but she found it today. In no more than three minutes, she managed to make her face up so nicely! I was upstairs on the phone and after I was done only heard silence. Silence and Abby are always a messy combination!

Our First T-Ball Practice

How cute is the helmet and bat?

Matt and Nate teaching the girls to catch the ball with alligator arms

Coaches. Matt probably didn't know that it was a vicarage requirement that he coach T-Ball for his supervisor's kid's team:) Just kidding!

Ash Wednesday

These sweet pictures were taken when Jenna was just two months old on her first Ash Wednesday. Today, we mark the beginning of Lent and tonight, I will brave the 7pm church service that has never been a successful experience.

I've tried to take the girls to the Advent and Lenten services over the past few years, and every time I leave incredibly frustrated and a little bit embarassed. You see, these services are at 7pm, which is a half an hour before their bedtimes. And my kids are usually the only kids in the service. Most other parents don't even consider bringing their kids to church on a school night. I completely boycotted Advent this year, and most of the Lenten services last year.

So, I am going to take the girls tonight, because I want them to experience Ash Wednesday. (And I also want to go:) ) I'm particularly excited about Nate's sermon series for Lent. He bought over 500 copies of The Shack and is having the congregation read the book. His sermons will then relate to certain aspects of the book. It's a tad bit risky, but good and I'm really looking forward to it.

I am going to heavily rely on crayons, coloring books, snacks, and my good friend Megan to help get the girls through the service without embarrassing ourselves, knowing that a nice glass of wine will be waiting for me when I get home!