In Conclusion . . .

to my moral dilemma post, I have come to understand that such a delicate and personal issue as birth control is one that is between you, your spouse, and God. As for me, I will continue to wrestle with all the different angles of birth control and IUDs, especially. Researching and learning about it has certainly been an eye opening experience and I am thankful to those of you who shared your experiences with me.

A Trip To the Salon

I just ran across these pictures and had to post them because we had such fun on this particular day. Back in August, my mom was here visiting and needed her nails done. Recently, I've found this great salon in our area and absolutely love our new hairdresser, Bruce.

On this day, Abby had her hair cut, so me, Jenna, Abby, and Mom were all in the salon at the same time. As soon as they saw Grandma getting her nails done, they wanted theirs painted too! The nice nail lady, whose name I cannot remember, quickly painted the girls nails for free! She was so wonderful and the girls were ecstatic over their pink and purple fingernails !

This picture cracks me up because Abby is looking rather suspicious of the entire situation.

She really did have a great time. Just not sure about that little fan that dries nails:)

All smiles for Jenna!

A Moral Dilemma

This is one post that I would really like feedback on. If you are reading this, please don't be afraid to comment even if it is anonymously.

I am really interested in knowing as much as I can about the IUD (birth control device). Not only for my own knowledge, but for others who ask me about it. The topic of birth control comes up frequently in my circles. Most of us are done having babies, but can't stomach the thought of the pill forever or the permanency of a vasectomy. The IUD seems like a great choice for many of us, but after doing some research and talking to my doctor, there is still a chance that an embryo can form and be "aborted" because the conditions aren't right for implantation. From what I understand that chance is very, very, very small . . . but I struggtle with whether it is right to have an IUD given even the smallest chance of a baby forming.

I am not a crazy right wing Christian who pickets abortion clinics. I think those people give us Christians a bad name and go about it in an ineffective way. But I do believe that life begins at conception and that we are precious and honored and loved even as an embryo.

When we were on vicarage, I had the opportunity to volunteer at a crisis pregnancy center. It truly was one of the most fulfilling experiences in my life. I got to know women as individuals and talk with them about their situation. I got to to guide them through their choice of life. Not always, but many times. I am passionate about helping women during this crisis time and look forward to the time when my schedule allows for me to volunteer again.

Given all of that, I cannot fathom the idea of possibly creating a little Hartke baby and essentially making the choice for it not to live. And if this fact is true, that an embryo may be created and "aborted," how can I in good conscience counsel other women to do the same?

The trick here is that research and my own doctor says that there is no way to really know if creating an embryo actually happens, but that the IUD only prevents implantation, not fertilization. Many doctors are using the Mirena brand which seems to be more effective. A pro life doctor at my doctor's office has started using them after refusing to provide IUDs for years. She now feels that comfortable with their effectiveness.

If you are reading this and have an IUD, I am not judging. I am just asking questions and trying to find out answers. It's hard to find good information out there about whether an embryo is actually formed when using an IUD. The research goes both ways.

Any thoughts?

My Sweethearts

Jenna, Nate, and Abby at the beach party at Camp Pioneer. The girls had fun decorating Daddy:)

"Stuff Issues"

A while back, I posted about how difficult it was for me to get rid of all the baby clothes that were sitting in bins in my garage. I am long over that and have found great freedom and joy in giving away those clothes to people who could use them. I also have discovered that "stuff" suffocates me. I've been getting rid of toys that aren't age appropriate for my kids as well as my own clothes and things that I no longer use or need. Very freeing.



I am having an issue with other "stuff." Namely video game "stuff." I am feeling this pressure to have the newest and best gaming systems. Please know, that we have not owned a gaming system since our seminary days when we had no kids. This past summer, we became proud owners of a PS3 as well as Guitar Hero. Nate plays that often--usually after I go to bed and that doesn't bother me.

What bothers me is the kids side of it. Everytime we go to a friends' house that has a Wii, Jenna asks for one. So, Nate and I have thrown around the idea of giving that to the girls for Christmas. But I don't know if I really want to do that. Do 2 1/2 and 4 1/2 year olds need a Wii? Do we want to start the slippery slope of wanting the newest gaming technologies out there? Do we want to start allowing our kids to play video games on a regular basis? My answer is no to all of that, but I don't know if I am being too restrictive.

Yes, my kids watch tv, and yes, Jenna loves to play on the Barbie website on the computer. But I am very aware of "screen" time and don't want to allow too much at any given time. And introducing video games makes me cringe a little.

Does anyone else have an opinion on this? I am open to all of them:)

The Ice Cream Truck Denial

Below is a conversation that happened between Abby, 2 1/2 and Nate at bedtime. Imagine a sweet, high-pitched two year old little voice, very upset that she did not get ice cream today.

I apologize if this isn't funny to any of you, but it was hilarious to us:)

Abby: I heard dee eye keem tuck tooay. And I wanna get some. I ent to akk Mommy if I ould hah um, because I eyed to. (I heard the ice cream truck today. And I wanna get some. I eent to ask Mommy if I could have some, because I tried to.)

Nate: And what did Mommy say?

Abby: See said NOOOOOOOO! I tie morrow. (She said nooooo. I try tomorrow.)

Jenna Got Into My Eyeliner

Just Because It's Funny :)

More Adventures in Teaching

This new job continues to be an adventure. Here are some things I have learned in the past few days.

* Many students landed in my class because they didn't pass either section of their high school exit exam and have a lot of work to do academically. Motivation to learn is an issue and part of the reason for the non-passing status of these students. I am trying to figure out how to motivate them to learn when they don't want to. I have been trying to get one kid to write a few paragraphs for me for a few days now. I finally sat next to him and pushed him to write.

They don't get grades. The only things they gain from my class is skills to pass the test and confidence in themselves. So far, I'm not sure if they are interested in either. Any ideas?

* Now that they are comfortable with me, they #1 try to push my limits (like children) and #2 challenge my opinions. For example: That driving drunk isn't a good choice. Seriously . . . .

* The more I get to know some of these students, the more I pray for them. I walk into my classroom every day now and pray that God would permiate the room. Most of my students have to be there and are coming from awful situations at home. Today, I had a student come in shaking. She was so upset because she is afraid of going to juvvy (juvenile detention) because she violated her probation. I bought her a water and talked to her. I really do hope that God works healing in her life.

I feel like I walk into a battleground every day now. I have to fight to get some of them to participate. Many of them are fighting situations in their lives outside of our classroom walls and the only way (and the most powerful way) is for me to ask God to work in their lives.

Of course, I can never say His name in my classroom. I can't talk about my faith or even tell them that I pray for them. But they know Nate's a pastor and I hope they see a little spark of Christ's love for them through me, even if I can't say it.

I Had To Ban The Word, 'Homie"

My new job is unlike any I've had before. I teach adults who want to get their GED. But I also help students right out of high school pass their high school exit exam. Basically, I have 2 or 3 classes running within my classroom. Very confusing and busy, but I think I have the hang of it.

The most interesting part of my job are the people I get to teach. I have some people who are only there to work on language skills because they have just arrived from another country. Then I have people who truly want to work on their skills to get their GED. But the most interesting group of students I have are the ones who don't want to be there. They have to be there as a requirement for probation or some other government program they are involved in like welfare. So getting them to show up consistently and actually do work is a chore.

We had a bit of a breakthrough last week. After reading some paragraphs we were working on writing, I made a whole class announcement that the word, "homie" was banned from all writing in my class. They didn't quite understand this, so I had to explain the difference between the spoken word and the written word. But this banning of "homie" led into an extensive and eye opening conversation about gangs, which is the world that most of them either live in or are familiar with.

I've learned lots about gangs, and what these particular students think of them. I've learned that:

-everyone is a homie

-wearing red or blue can be dangerous to your health--although they informed me that if they saw me at Target in red, they'd leave me alone because I am OBVIOUSLY not in a gang.

-people are born into gangs and it's a way of life.

-some would rather commit crimes as opposed to have a job

-a lot of it's about protecting neighborhoods and family members

-education is not valued very highly

Out of that conversation came understanding on both my part and theirs. But I think I have gained some respect in trying to learn about their lives instead of judging them. This morning they came in and made fun of my choice of music, because I told them I was into the Dave Matthews Band and Counting Crows. They actually tried to accuse me of having ticket to the sold out show for the New Kids On The Block. (yeah right:)

So I'm feeling good about my class. I never thought I'd be teaching gang members, but it's kind of exciting to me to be teaching people who have been counted out by the rest of the educational system.

Definitely An Outsider

I am definitely an outsider . . . in many areas of my life, but for this post, I will only focus on my new job. I am a new employee of a public school district in our area. I teach at the adult school (which for you midwesterners is completely foreign, but yes they exist out here). I teach the GED/test preparation class. Basically, I help people prepare for their GED, high school exit exam, or any other test they want to throw at me.

Before I tell you my story, you have to remember this . . . I work in a PUBLIC school district in CALIFORNIA which in my case equals extremely liberal. After all, this is the left coast, right?

We have about a half hour break during class and many of the teachers gather in the lounge to socialize. Every day, the conversation goes political. Last week, it was all about Obama and the DNC. I could not find one person in that room that was not head over heals for Obama. Completely sold out to him, some to the point of tears. I sat quietly and listened, commenting occasionally.

I was really interested in the conversation today, given that Sarah Palin spoke last night, so I made it a point to be in the lounge at break time. Of course, the conversation went to Sarah Palin's speech, and all the comments were about how awful and destructive she is. How she is for guns, drilling, and limiting choice for women. All I said was, " I think she did a really great job last night." (Then I got some bewildered stares.)

So I think they know that I am not your typical liberal around here. They had to have figured that out already. I so badly want to say something in front of the group about my differing opinions, but I don't know how to exactly do it. I don't want to get into a debate or feel like an idiot. I don't want to offend anyone else. I just want them to know that I don't fit their mold.

I call myself an Independent. I don't want to be associated with the right-wing conservatives, although I have many beliefs and values that line up with them. And I don't want to be associated with the left-wing liberals, although I have taken a strong interest in some of their issues as well. Right now, I don't know what I am, so I call myself an Independent. I just know what I believe and want the freedom to choose a candidate based on how my values and beliefs line up with their views on important issues. I see great things in both McCain and Obama. I am not one of those who hates one becasue I support the other. I have great respect for both and think that whomever is elected will do a good job.

Regardless of who I vote for in the November election, I know one thing. I was REALLY impressed with Sarah Palin last night and think that she brings something to the Republican ticket that is worth getting excited for. So I seem to be leaning back to my Republican roots and don't fit in politically around here.

But I'm okay with being the political outsider. It's kind of fun listening to the rantings in the teachers' lounge and soaking it all in. We'll see if I get enough guts to actually say anything:)

A Day of Firsts

Today was Jenna's first day of preschool! She attending the same school last year, so she's an old pro. She said everything went great today, except that no one would play with her. I am not sure if I believe that or not because she wasn't upset in the least at that idea. So we'll see tomorrow.


Abby had a first today too. It was her first day of daycare. Gosh, I hate even saying that word. I am working part time in the mornings, and Abby goes to a babysitter. She is with other kids from church whom she knows and her sitter is absolutely fantasitic. She has a wonderful time too and came home with several new best friends:)


As for me, it was my first day of doing the morning routine of getting everyone up, ready, out the door, and to their appropriate destinations for the day. Nate is a great help in the mornings, and everything went smoothly. I did have a twinge of sadness as I left my girls so that I could work. It's just the way it is here. We like to eat, have shelter, and occasionally do fun things, so in order to do that here in the Bay Area, I have to work. We knew this day was coming and are thankful for the time that I was able to stay home, but that time is no more. I now have zero friends who do not work here. Yep. All moms work. (Most, at least.) But each day will get better and I'm happy with where they are and thankful that I get to be home everyday after noon.