We Have A Bully

We have a bully. And I say "we" because it involves the whole family in one way or another. Jenna is the target, Nate and I are angry, heartbroken, and protective, while Abby is now convinced that she will be the target of this particular bully when she goes to school next year as well. So it's a family affair, but one that, at this moment, I feel good about where things stand and how we've handled it with Jenna.

So it started during the first day of school for Jenna when we first moved here. A little girl, who is not in the same grade as Jenna, and her friends surrounded Jenna on the playground and started taunting her because she was the "new girl." This bully is also on Jenna's bus and started giving her a hard time there too. I recruited some older kids from the bus to help her out and we didn't have much a problem last year at all. The older kids aren't there anymore and this bully started in on Jenna again this year. She teases her, hits her, and threatens to get her in trouble for things she doesn't do. Apparently, Jenna isn't the only one this bully targets.

At first, it seemed like it was normal teasing that wasn't bothering Jenna too much, but then she started getting stomach aches and I couldn't figure out why. She was up at night and had them in the morning and was even going to the nurse at school. I couldn't figure out where they were coming from. When I was at the end of my rope with the stomach aches, I told Jenna that we were going to go to the doctor and that she was going to have to get shots (which she is petrified of . . . go ahead, nominate me for mother of the year, but she has a history of making stuff up to get out of things and I wasn't sure if the stomach aches were real or not). When she heard the possiblity of shots, she busted into tears and told me all the mean stuff that this bully has done to her and I immediately knew where the tummy aches were coming from.

I called the teacher, spoke with the principal and the bus driver, and pulled Jenna off the bus for a while. I wanted to protect her from all of this hurtful stuff. But we decided that if Jenna didn't ride the bus, that the bully would win. So we encouraged Jenna to get back on the bus and speak up if anything else happened because she was afraid to speak up. But when she knew that I was on her side and was getting some results, she was more confident. Immediately, she had another incident on the bus and told the bus driver.

I was so proud of her. She stood up for herself and knew that she had adults to protect her. And I am impressed with how the school is handling this situation. I have had nothing but support from her school--especially her teacher and hope it continues if more problems arise. So we are in a quiet phase right now. No problems have occurred lately, but I'm anxious to see what the future holds.

Overall, it's been a good life lesson for all of us. Jenna has learned that there are mean people out there, but that we are also there to stand up for her and protect her--as will her teachers. She has learned how to handle this type of conflict and to not be a bully back, which was really important to us. Even though we wanted to march over to this kid's house and talk to the parents, we didn't:) Nate and I have had to think things through and not react emotionally, because it wouldn't do any good for us or Jenna.

Hopefully, this situation is over and all will stay quiet, but if it doesn't we're ready to face it head on again.