Me & Two Kids, the Mall, and a Little Bit of Crazy

Why does it always go like this? I am bored to death and have come up with the bright idea to take the kids to the mall for an afternoon out of the house, because it's too cold to go sledding today. It's 9 degrees. Crazy. In the two minutes before we get our coats, boots, hats, etc. on to go out, all hell breaks loose.

Jenna can't find her wallet. She wants to buy something, so I offer to loan her money and she can pay me back when she finds her wallet. This turns into out of control sobbing and anger on Jenna's part because she obviously doesn't understand the concept of loaning. She thinks I am trying to steal her money and goes on and on about how she wanted to give some to church and spend some at the store and all I want to do is steal her money. Seriously. I was really just trying to help her. But she doesn't get it.

Then Abby refuses to go to the bathroom because she hates going poopy. Really? You do it everyday, and the day that I want to get out of the house (even if that means taking two kids to the mall by myself) , she decides she's not going to go to the bathroom and puts up a fight.

So I have two kids who are sobbing uncontrollably about ridiculous things and all I want is to get out of this apartment and do something somewhat fun. "Somewhat" must be used here because two kids, the mall, and me is only kinda fun. Me and the mall without kids would be way more fun.

So I'm trying to tame the ridiculousness in the house and get them out the door. As crazy as I may be to now add cranky and crazy to the list of this afternoon's activities, I'm still going to try it because I am dying to get out of the house.

I'll let you know if it was worth it.

How's It Going?

That's the question I get quite often these days. I know that's a silly title for a post, but I don't have a specific event to write about, but thought I'd share what's been going on lately at the Hartke house. We've been here in New York for about 3 months and I've been asked "how is life in NY? how do you like the snow?" a lot these days. So here's an update.

Life is good here in New York. A transition to a new place is always longer than the few weeks it takes to get moved and unpacked. Transitions involve new relationships, new jobs, schools, doctors, and learning the ropes of a new town. So we are still in transition and have a while until this feels like home, but it gets more and more like that every day.

A brief update:

Nate: Very busy with the newness of St. John's. He's been learning the ropes of the congregation, getting to know people, and feeling overwhelmed at times. A good overwhelmed though. This church is large and there's more than enough work for one pastor. Not to mention that the members have huge hearts of service and are constantly wanting to do new things and serve the community. Not a bad problem to have!

Laura: I spent most of the first two months feeling sick and miserable from the morning sickness, but that is subsiding. I was thankful to not be working and to be able to hang out at home while I was feeling yucky. But now that I am feeling better, I have been enjoying life a littel bit more:) I joined a Bible study at another church that has been such a great gift in my life. They love Beth Moore, like I do, and we even are going to see her in March in Toronto! They are fun, smart, open, and Godly women. I look forward to Tuesdays every week! I also will be teaching online for Orange Lutheran starting in March. Very excited to start teaching again, even if it's from my house:) A new adventure. Oh, and we find out the sex of the baby next week. Stay tuned!

Jenna: She is thriving in Kindergarten! She's reading and writing up a storm--which is so fun to see! She has transitioned quite well to New York and has made lots of friends. I am a little worried, however, about this little boy, Mickey, who apparently wants her to be his girlfriend. This morning she told me that he likes the color black and that he likes when she wears black shirts. Hmmm . . . . a little worrisome. Jenna also asked me if I would go to the movies with Mickey and his mom on a date. I had to say no to that one. No dating in Kindergarten! Nate threatened to break his legs:) Just kidding.

Abby: She's in preschool two days a week, so we've had lots of Mommy/Abby time at home, which has been good! She's easy to have at home. We have been struggling with her asthma lately. She had several flareups recently and it's obvious that the course of treatment she's on isn't working. Her doctor thinks she has allergies that are related to the asthma, so we have to go through the dreaded allergy prick test again. That will be an awful day. But if we can get her some relief for the asthma, I'll be happy.

So there you have it. Just a glimpse of our transition. And yes, we like the snow. It's the bitter cold and wind I could do without. We're looking forward to Spring!

Happy 6th Birthday Jenna!

I can hardly believe that Jenna used to be this little! In six years, she has grown up to be a beautiful little girl:) On Friday, we celebrated her birthday at Chuck E Cheese's with our friends, the Rozelles. Jenna begged for a Chuck E Cheese party, but last year she has a big swimming party so this year was going to be small. Of course, Jenna told her whole Kindergarten class that they were invited to her party after we talked about only inviting the Rozelles. We didn't have any additional kids show up, so I assume Jenna took care of that:)

Happy birthday Jenna!

Remember Who You Are

Nate and I have the privilege to be involved in an organization called PLI (Pastoral Leadership Institute). It's a four year program that trains pastors and their wives in leadership, specifically missional leadership. We attend a yearly week long conference, retreats that are for the women only or the men only, and the guys get to visit "mentor" churches to see how other churches do ministry. Our Class of 2009 is broken down into small groups called collegial groups and we will spend the next three years learning and growing with these other couples in ministry.

Last April was our first conference, and our group fell in love with each other right away. We are all from different backgrounds and ministries and places, but I haven't laughed so hard or shared and grown so much with a group of people in while. I guess it's because we all have the pastor's family thing going on and it's nice to connect with people who are in your same boat.

Last weekend, I went to Dallas to attend our class of 2009 women's retreat. I came home a much different person. And I wasn't expecting that. I really expected to die on the way out there . . . I flew out on a very snowy and icy day and had to fly my first leg on a prop plane. Yep, that's right, an airplane with propellers. I made it, but not without an almost anxiety attack as we walked OUTSIDE to board the tiny plane.

It's not that I wasn't looking forward to this trip, I just didn't know what to expect, and now that I look back on it, I was too wrapped up in myself and my hurt to give much thought to it.

The theme of the weekend was Value and was based on Luke 13: 10-17. That's the story about a woman who has had been "bent over" for 18 years. Jesus sees her, calls her forward, heals her, and gives her value and worth. We studied the passage for understanding, but then our leaders started to ask the hard questions like, "Are you a bent over woman (burden-carrier), or a burden-loader, or a burden-lifter?"And while I know I've been all three at some point or another, I have felt like a bent over woman for a while in a particular area and in the past few weeks, it's kind of consumed me.

And I was called out. I had been trying to deal with this huge hurt by myself and when we were asked these questions I realized that I had never even asked God to help me. I left this huge gaping hole open and was vulnerable for Satan to sneak in and take over. How could I let that happen?

Over the next 24 hours I processed the story of the bent over woman. God truly saw her pain, healed her, and gave her worth. And I knew that could happen for me. I needed to talk about it, which I hadn't done, and I needed to hear that I was loved and worthy and "seen" by God. I had to tell Satan to get behind me because there was no room in that hole I created because God had filled it in the short time I was in Dallas. I needed to hear our last devotion about identity. Rachel kept saying it over and over: Remember who you are. Remember who you are. You are a daughter of Abraham, you are seen, and you are loved.

How could I have forgotten that?

So my weekend at PLI was a really, really good one and I look forward to three more years of learning, growing, and remembering who I am.

Arriving July 2010

. . . specifically on or around July 8th! Yesterday was our first peek at our new little baby and even though I knew what to expect and have been through this twice before, there is nothing that compares to the first glance at this little person moving and hiccuping and waving their arms as the nurse tries to get just the right pictures.

In the past thirteen weeks, I've been shocked, scared, so very excited, and really, really nauseous. I often make a nice big dinner for our family, only to get ready to sit down and eat and have to leave because the sight of the food makes me feel sick. Nate's coffeemaker is banned to the basement on top of the dryer because I can't stand the smell of coffee these days. My regular pants don't fit and my maternity pants are too big still. Through all of this, I've, of course, always known there was a baby int here, but to actually see him/her moving around on the screen is like being given a dose of reality.

I really am going to have to change diapers for two more years and we will experience the sleepless nights again. Seeing that I basically only have a crib and a pack n play, I get to shop and plan for all the baby supplies we'll need. That's kind of exciting! Oh, and we should probably start thinking of a name!

Lots of exciting stuff coming up in the next year for us:)