Baby # 3 is on the way!

Two kids. That was it for so long. We were absolutely only having two kids--for two reasons. 1) Having more than two kids when we lived in California just wasn't a possiblity for us. We were committed to putting the girls in private school because we weren't comfortable with our area public schools, and we most definitely coudn't afford three kids at a private school in the Bay Area. 2) I nearly went nuts having two so close together. Abby was/is such an active kid and having two little ones close to the same age was very challenging. The thought of one more made me crazy:)

When Nate accepted the call to NY, we agreed that we'd CONSIDER having another baby. Note the emphasis on the word consider. Really only because we COULD consider it. Living in California, we knew there was absolutely no way we could have another baby. We agreed that once we got to New York, got settled in life, and felt comfortable with our finances, we'd think about a baby.

During our last weeks in California and especially while we were on vacation, I really felt like two kids was it for us. I was comfortable with our family, I was kind of excited to look for a full-time teaching job (or maybe part-time, who knows), and excited to get more involved in activities outside of our home. And this is all really hilarious to me because that was the exact time that I was pregnant and I didn't know it!

The first test was negative and I was relieved. But I was still late, so I took another test and the line that indicated a positive result was so, so faint. Really, I couldn't tell if my mind was playing tricks on me or if it was really there. So I waited a few more days and then we got the for sure positive result. And in all honesty, it took me a few days to be okay with it.

I feel bad for even saying that because it's a baby . . . a blessing . . . who wouldn't be ecstatic? With Jenna and Abby, we had planned them. I was waiting for them and so happy when I knew they were arriving. But this baby wasn't planned and I has mixed emotions about having three kids. It only took me a few days to get over it and be really excited. I think I was just scared.

I was scared of our comfortable family life changing (but really, what's one more change. we did just move to NY). I somehow felt like having three kids was a bit frivolous--for us (this isn't a reference to anyone else but us). Many couples have one kid. Two isn't abnormal because two is what a lot of people do these days. It makes sense to have another baby so that your first one can have a sibling. But three, if you have three, you must really want more kids or a "big family" as I've heard. (and please no comments about having 8 kids here . . . Nate is the oldest of 8, but we are not going for that many. surgery to prevent that is in one of our futures!) And there are people out there who actually think that having more than two kids is a really, really bad thing. I won't go into that . . . but I just wasn't sure about three. A family of five can't fit at a four chaired McDonald's table. One person will have to ride by themselves at amusement parks . . . all stupid thoughts, but that's what went through my head. I just had an idea of what our family was and it changed in an instant.

But I am very, very excited to hold a little baby in my arms in the beginning of July and think that after he or she arrives, I won't be able to imagine our lives without this new little one. Jenna and Abby are so very excited! When I first told Abby, I said, "I have a baby in my tummy!" Abby said, "Well, who is it?" So funny! Jenna has been carrying around heavy things just to show me that she can help carry the baby when he/she comes. They are both hoping for a baby brother so daddy won't be so lonely in our family! All so cute!

I would appreciate prayers for a healthy baby:) I haven't had any nausea yet, which is crazy because with the girls, I was so sick by now. But I have been feeling that pregnancy tiredness and hunger, but that's it. So far, so good!